


blood and bones and what we are made of

by allegedly_writing



Category: Halloween Movies - All Media Types
Genre: (implied but not directly said), Character Study, Discussion of Pregnancy, Family Issues, Gen, Identity Issues, Postpartum Depression, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:53:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24103174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allegedly_writing/pseuds/allegedly_writing
Summary: . She doesn’t know who thought she should be a mother. Least of all herself, that was for sure..Laurie struggles with her identity after having her daughter.
Kudos: 9





	blood and bones and what we are made of

**Author's Note:**

> I watched all the Halloween movies back to back and I was really stuck on Laurie being a mother at a young age according to Halloween 4. So I wrote this! I hope you enjoy!

She doesn’t know who thought she should be a mother. Least of all herself, that was for sure. 

It definitely wasn’t one of her goals in life. Children were for other people, she only looked after them. And that was fine. She didn’t mind if that made her more of an outlier. She had already been labeled the new Myers, the sister of Haddonfields most famous monster, and dealt with the myriad of eyes following her wherever she went. The only person who seemed to see past that was Jimmy, and she loved him deeply for that. To him, she was only herself, only Laurie, just-Laurie and not some mythic omen of a town's evil. She treasured that. She needed that. As long as she had Jimmy around, a piece of her from before the Halloween attack continued to survive. It wasn't perfect but she managed. 

Until she found out she was pregnant, only a few weeks after her nineteenth birthday. 

Jimmy had been overjoyed when she told him and hugged her until she felt like she was bursting. Maybe she was. She certainly felt too full and too close and all of a sudden there was too much of her. Because all of a sudden she wasn’t just-Laurie anymore. She was Laurie, sister of a monster, soon- to-be-mother. 

Her pregnancy had been horrendous, she had to admit. It was as though she was literally no longer herself, her body shared with another separate being. Every eye that was on her before doubled, until walking down the street became a wall of stares. Word had always spread fast in Haddonfield, she knew that. Even the positive responses weren't about her, they were about the baby she was expecting. She had smiled and thanked them but inside her dread deepened. 

She clung to Jimmy more than ever, needing desperately to feel like herself, had moved into his house. He was so happy and she held his happiness like she could somehow make it her own. It had worked, for a time being. She and Jimmy would discuss baby names and hold each other while they slept and for flashes of time she felt almost normal. He hadn’t brought up the idea of marriage like she’d thought he might, to her secret giddy relief. Maybe it would be okay, maybe she could be herself again. Be just Laurie a little longer. 

It all crumbled apart when Jamie was born. 

Jimmy was fully taken by her from the moment he saw her, fresh and new and bloody and disgusting. He accepted the role of fatherhood as soon as it was handed to him. Or, rather, she was handed to him. Laurie looked at the squirming, wailing bundle in her arms and didn’t feel like she accepted anything at all. Now she was Laurie, the mother. And she hated that. 

It didn’t get better when she left and took Jamie home with Jimmy. That wave of love and contentment she expected never came. She would wait by Jamie’s crib, look into her deep brown eyes, and wonder. Wonder why she only felt cold. Wonder why she still didn’t feel like she belonged to herself again now that she wasn’t literally sharing her body anymore. 

She wasn’t just-Laurie anymore, and probably never would be again. She needed some time to mourn that, but there wasn’t any time with a new baby around. No, there was never any time. Her every waking moment was centered around being something to someone else. 

In her most vicious moments, when Jamie was three months old, when she was tired and sore and exhausted, she thought about leaving. Running and trying to be herself again. She never wanted this for herself, and Jimmy was so good with Jamie, it’s not as though he needed her around. She stayed up late that night, long past Jimmy was asleep, and watched Jamie in her crib, her mind carefully blank. 

She stayed like that until the sun came up, the only one awake in the house. It was the closest she felt like herself in a long time.


End file.
